Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday night

I'm chillin in my room by myself, listening to Ryan Adams live from July 14 of this year from Austin, Texas. The lights are all off and there are four candles on. I'm trying to have some "nest" time, thinking to myself, okay man, a lot of important work starts up again this week. A lot of shit has changed since you've last seen those people/jobs and you need to focus. I know a lot of weird crazy shit is happening in your life, you gotta suck it up and push through. Show the world that you still have dignity, that you can carry your chin high knowing that they know and yet you perservere, doing what it takes so that you know that you are doing your best. This week I let the outside world win. That doesn't happen too often and I didn't like it. I want the outside world to be an influence, not the one at the wheel of this ride that is my life. Fuck that shit. I'm still here, I got it going on, I just forget sometimes that what others think of me and how they treat me and weather and a million other inconsequential things are just that, that they are not part of me. They are only around me. That means that they're not inside.

I will do my best to be at my best this week, and that'll come from getting more sleep, drinking less and getting some exercise and trying to take my work the slightest bit seriously. I did that for an hour today getting some papers together for this week's classes. I haven't really had to do that for the past three months and it takes a little getting used to, ya know?

I'll let ya'll know how it goes...


At 8:10 AM, Blogger Michael said...

hey, sorry to hear you're having a crappy day. could ne worse, you could be ETX, enduring russian winter for 6+ months of the year! :-)

got a music tip for ya--since you like ryan adams you *might* like this guy. i've seen him live several times and really like his sound. he's a mix of alt-country, folk, and randomness.



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