Thursday, October 04, 2007

Slough and Chick A+ update

I am in Slough. Yes, it is amazing. Yes, I am being sarcastic. Yes, it is cool to hang with Maya but that part I mean. Right now we are watching American Dad and chilling.

I went to the British Museum with Arianna and saw the Rosetta Stone, some mummies and improbable jewelry.

Chick A+ update: she has a job interview next week in Italy at the EU-agency she worked at 2 years ago. She isnt sure she can take the job because she is still holding out for a permanent position in the EU. The interview is for a 2 or 3 year position. If she can get them to wait until next year she could potentially get a 6 year position. I am really happy for her. It is difficult, however, because I love hanging out with her. She is one of the funnest girls I have ever met and we have a great time together. Of course there is the part of me that wants her to stay in Freiburg as long as possible so that we can spend more time together. But I am a mature (somewhat) man and she is someone who I want to support in all her endeavors. I want what will make her happy.

This whole experience the past two months has been eye opening. I never thought that I would be single again. The thought more or less had never really honestly crossed my mind. I was lucky to get a chance to go the States, away from the whole situation, come back with Assiyeahs stuff gone and a date 3 hours after getting back. The girl was dating someone else but that was ending. I was just getting out of a relationship, doing much better spiritually than anyone could have possibly imagined (including myself), and I know that for some reason I have been able to recover at an alarming speed. Did that make me heartless or uncaring? Was I really avoiding thinking of the reality of the situation? No and no. I just had to turn off one long-standing emotion and I did it very well. The fact that I liked my life and myself in general, that I still lived in my favorite place on earth and now had some unbelievable chick wanting to hang with me, I realized that I was gonna be okay. There are still important things that I want to work on in my life (exercising, my art, etc) but I am a people-person and I am pretty personable and love meeting new people. I have good things going on in my life.

Conversely, I dont have the same reason to stay in Freiburg but I still have reasons to stay, my work, the town itself, my art, the language, friends, etc but I could do and go wherever I want. That is an exciting possibility and I will at least have my ear to the ground but for now I am still in Freiburg. My life is open. That could scare some people but it is really exciting to me.

But I also know that I want to share all that beauty with someone. I am sure that I could have fun with some girls and that will probably still happen but in the end I hope to have someone, the same person to wake up with everyday and have all those triumphs and occasional tragedies with one person. Maybe everybody wants that, I have no idea, I just know what I want (but that is always subject to change and is open to interpration) and I am going to pursue my goals and dreams. I cant wait to see who crosses that path and also where in the world the path leads me. I am glad that Chick A+ is a part of it now and I cherish each moment I have with her. And who knows, maybe someday in the near future I will visit her in some other country, speaking some other language. My life is exciting and she is definitely a part of that. I can only thank her by supporting her in whatever she does if it makes her happy. And kiss her as long as we live in the same town, maybe longer! hahah, oh life, you are so good to me but make it last, life, make it last!

I am going to visit Windsor Castle tomorrow, read my book and write a poem and soak up some of this good weather we are having in England. I now know that I am not a big fan of England. Of course London is cool, and it is great to see Arianna and Maya but this is not a country that has the kind of culture that excites me. I like to get more out of it in its current state but England has more a sense of past glories. This is where Southern Europe excites me more because there is more of a sense of living history and the people live more for life than for "success".

Anyway, this may not have been the most interesting of blog posts but they were some thoughts I was having and I thought some of you might enjoy it. As always, I will keep ya updated!


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