Sunday, September 30, 2007

Well, I guess YOU happened.

One of my roommates got mad at me because I came home last night. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you're reading that correctly, she got mad because apparently after seeing me, Assiyeah and her new boyfriend didn't want to come over anymore. I don't know what to say except that is totally stupid. She can come here with her new boyfriend and hang out at my place with my roommates whenever the fuck she wants, I don't give a shit but for her to come all the way over here, see me outside the building and then decide not to go up and hang with the girls is her decision and has nothing to do with me. Chick A+ and I tried our damndest to find a bar to catch a buzz but it was near impossible because either there was live music or no place to sit. Seriously, we hit 6-7 bars trying to find a place to our liking and couldn't.

Chick A+ and I are still hanging out at 9.30pm, we went on a great little walk around 7pm and then had two beers in Walfisch which was nice. We also just ate leftover gnocci from last night and now we're planning on watching some friends.

My roommate said an all-time classic line last night. I saw her at 1.30am and asked her, Roommate, what happened? Her answer: Well, I guess YOU happened. Nice... It's hard to believe that me coming home to my place is somehow my fault but I'm over it.

I gotta go to the Auslaenderbehoerde tomorrow to try and get a 90-day extension. Wish me luck!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Almost a full moon


It's not a normal night, that's for sure. I'm sitting at the computer, 10 minutes to midnight with the one and only Chick A sitting next to me. She just gave me permission to publish her partial identity so here she is, from our short train trip on the way to the photo exhibition the other night. Yes, the bottom half of her face is just as cute as the top half but you'll just have to imagine it from your computer wherever you are in the world. Enjoy!


p.s. Why is the subject of this post "Almost a full moon"? Well, I'll tell ya. I was a bit shocked to learn that Assiyeah was coming over to hang with the girls tonight because I already had plans with Chick A here at the apartment so I wasn't sure what was gonna happen. After a great dinner and some champagne, Chick A and I decided to head down to Walfisch for our normal, after dinner Jaegermeister shot and so we could get out of the apartment but there was a concert at Walfisch. Swamp also had live music so we couldn't go there. We ended up walking around for an hour, went into 4 other bars around town and couldn't find our vibe. Chick A went home real quick to take her birth control pill but there were people there so we couldn't hang there. The night was just turning out to be strange, straight up. We ended up walking home and as we were 30 yards from my house, who rides by on her bicycle but Assiyeah and her boyfriend. You should have seen the look on her face. Chick A helped me feel calm even though I was doing okay. We waited 5 minutes, shared a great kiss in the doorway of some other apartment building and then went into my apartment.
So now we are drinking mimosas in my room, Chick A and I that is, and Assiyeah, Lena, Carola, Lena, Yvonne and who knows who else is in the living room next to us. It's been a super strange night but it just reminds me yet again how lucky I am to know a chick as cool as Chick A. I think she has just been promoted to Chick A+. We still have another 2 bottle of champagne baby! Thank god there is "nothing" to do tomorrow!


Friday, September 28, 2007

The partial identity of Chick A!

Happy Friday folks, although technically it is Thursday for me because I have to work tomorrow, one of the 3 Saturdays a year I have to work. Don't feel bad for me, I have a date with a super cute chick tomorrow. You know her as Chick A. Last night she came over at 11.30pm and we drank a bottle of Spanish champagne and listened to sad drinking music which was beautiful (Lucero's "Tennessee" if you're curious) and we talked about real shit, like "dreams" (masked as desires and direction) and the future and the present and the past and feeling like there was no world except for the two candles, the butterfly lights, the Nag Champa incense, Spanish champagne and us. That lasted a couple of hours. Then we ate a pizza at 2am in bed, laughing and the stringy cheese made holy from the candlelight. Didn't sleep enough, got up at 7.20, a rough time to be sure. We had some coffee and went into town together, this time NOT getting noticed by 3 different people who go to the school where she goes and I work. Steal a last minute kiss in the cold and she goes home and me to work.

We had a sausage at lunch today and had some cuddle time (still had the tie and "nice clothes" on) on my break. We need each other right now but not necessarily for the same exact reasons but it doesn't matter (for now) because we have a really good time when we're together. It's hard to think past that, ya know?

I just saw my buddy Petschko, haven't hung with him in awhile, he was in the hospital and is doing better, it's funny but it reminded me that I do actually have some friends here. It's not like I forgot it but I have just trying to live my life that makes me as happiest as I can be right now, aka maybe I'm not being such a good friend right now but I think they'll get over it and/or forgive me.

Right now my two roommates are laughing as wildly as I have ever heard them laugh and had to stop typing briefly to ask them what the commotion was about. It turns out one roommate who works at a dentist had a patient today named Frau Wursthorn, (wurst meaning sausage) which could conjure humorous images of what her name means. That's right kids, the penis. That's what they were laughing about, classic!

I am hoping to work on writing a song with Alex tonight. He'll be over around 9-10pm and I'll have for a couple of hours but I need a good night sleep because tomorrow is going to be a big day, work from 10-1:30pm, then 2-3:30pm and then Chick A is coming over around 6 I would guess.

I like my new life.
p.s. If Chick A is out there, let me know if I can post that picture of you with the beer covering your face to give the partial identity of you!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Lyrics

Below are four sets of lyrics/poems that were inspired by Chick A. I hadn't written poetry or lyrics in what could easily be 8-9 years but I also haven't been in this position for nearly the same time. She's my muse, an inspiration and I hope that you can enjoy them. I'm hoping to put them to some music with a guy who was a student of mine and perhaps we can perform them at the Groovement festival.

I should do some work tonight but I have absolutely no desire. You know that feeling, right?

"Seconds"

A breath of freshness
Smelling, for the second time
A chance, the France of romance
And the sweet sun on the beach

You're a holiday, infinite
Happiness as a passport packed
Free, the glee of our future history
Like a worn paperback thriller in the sand

Here and now, Budda says
As he sits plump and content
Release, the beast won't cease
Hungry for what you cook in the night

Cheers, my friend
Feelin' lucky in the end
Of the middle of the end
Of the beginning of the
Middle of the end
No doubt we can mend

A sunburn and aloe vera
Soothing in the pain
A sign, in the wine and dine
Your sunset burns my eyes

A snorkel and the waves
Dangerous, but fun nonetheless
Swim, in the sin of a win
To surf with you again

Fresh fish on the grill
Frying and sizzling
Wafting, the laughter of banter
And when you laugh again...

And when you smile again
I feel like I've won
Beaten a king in the sun
While the queen fans herself
Patiently

And I raise my sword in your honor
Slam it into the sand
Walk up to you and kneel
And offer you my hand.

Thirsty

I know, I know
Should have asked you first
But I've been trying and lying
Gotta quench that thirst

And sleep at night
Without waking up
Been drinking and thinking
'Bout your curvy cup

'Cause I get so thirsty
when the sun goesdown
The dripping from your faucet
Is my oasis sound

Tomorrow, when the sun comes up
Will you be there?
It's not like I care
My pride is who knows where
But damn I get so thirsty sometimes

You can see that look in my eye
You're so damn smart
You never ask why

I know, I know
You got other things goin' on
You been gliding and biding
Shh, close your eyes until dawn

And stretch like a cat
Without disturbing me
Been dreaming and scheming
How to get you in my bed daily

'Cause I get so thirsty
When the sun comes up
And you know that and
You know what's up

I can see that look in your eye
I'm so damn smart
I never ask why

Why would I ask
What I don't wanna know
Questions make problems
When you don't wanna answer, so...

It's today that counts
And he's so far away
You're not on the same page
And you don't know what to say

'Cause I get so thirsty
When the sun is high overhead
Been walking and talking
Thinking 'bout what you said

We can see the look in our eyes
We're so damn smart
We never ask why

Espresso Drinking

Drinking an espresso
As the bells get ready to ring
It could be a smile or a coo
And we're ready to sing
Sing 'bout times we haven't had
Even though some will be bad
'Cause the good is the thing
Why we're soaring on a wing
of tomorrow's unimportant regret

If today were tomorrow
The things we'd already know
I'm glad I don't
In case we won't
Get along like we are now
Your flower blooms
The lovin' it assumes
Makes my sun shine
Do you know why we're here?
Me either
Ain't it great?
It's not too late
To do what we want

I remember when it all started
Don't know when it's gonna end
I gotta tell my friend
You don't care if tis gets sorted
And it ain't no thang
I liked how you sang
When the clothes fell off
Like handles
Pots & pans
You got 'em both
And the clanging
And banging
And the sounds
When you're frying
Crackle in my mind
Give me some time
Before I cook another dish
No, no, don't go
Let's drink another espresso

First Time

"First Time"

Standing under a tree in the rain,
A private sphere anything but plain
Mostly because of you
Purple blue with blurry yellow lights
,You stook like a fairy going on vacation
But I was the one taking in the sights

Fast forward 3 days
And a lot had changed
You were there for me
Listening somehow sexily
And then drinkng at night
Your face a beautiful warm white
Saying things of utmost charm
Your pastures I want to farm
But it's not always so easy

We sit here now, with posibilities abound
I want you to know without a sound
So you can hear
The only thing that's clear
A passionate melody
I'm happy I found.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What's up

Mooney is gone, having had what I assume was an epic time. I'm feeling better but completely exhausted because I slept badly last night. Chick A came back to my place after the exhibition and I have to say, it was so great to have her as my date at an official event that I was a part of. But my bed is too freakin small and I probably got 2-3 hours sleep out of the 6 that were possible. I had oral exams today from 9-3:30pm. We failed the first 3 of 8 people we had. I spent an hour over at Chick A's place this afternoon, just sort of lying in bed and talking and cuddling. Last night we said some really nice things to each other and it's clear that we are more than just "friends with benefits" but perhaps you might even call it dating but let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I know my buddies back home were adamant about not getting involved with someone else too quickly and to enjoy my singlehood but I also know that the people who gave me that advice have been single forever! hahahah I think the more women I see, the more I like Chick A. There is definite potential there but right now it's fun and exciting and we should try and keep having a good time. We've got plans for Saturday night dinner (hopefully she can stay over but she's got her own studying to do), Tuesday night after her presentation (should be a good night because it's a national holiday the next day and I'm flying to London for 4-5 days and I should have my new IKEA bed by then!), and we have made plans to go away for a night after her last exam. I talked her into going across the Rhein river into Alsace region of France for a night of passion and wine or well, whatever comes our way, I suppose! We also talked about me coming to visit for a weekend at the end of October, visit meaning back in Italy where she lives, leaving late on a Thursday night, maybe getting there around midnight and coming back on Sunday. It sounds like a beautiful area and I can't wait to see her part of the world. Each time we see each other we get a little bit closer which I think is fantastic...

I got a private lesson coming over in 5 minutes and I'm going to use that money for our date this weekend and on Tuesday. I had a meeting with my friend Ralf about my social security problem and he thinks we have a chance to get me a partial waiver based on how much my income is but that's getting ahead of ourselves because I have to go to the foreign authorities on Monday to try and get another 90 days while all of this is playing out.

Well, that's what is up in my neck of the woods...and yoU?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Photo Exhibition #10 tonight!

It wasn't my doing, I did nothing for its preparation and I'm not totally sure what to expect but I'm having my 10th photo exhibition tonight. I'm still sick and exhausted for various reasons (Mooney requires a lot of energy even when we are apart! haahha) but I'm really looking forward to it. Chick A is coming with and I don't know if 10 people will be there or 50 will show up. The weather is a bit unpredictable and the town where it's taking place is about 20 minutes by train. I'm not expecting too much, I'm going to show up, say thanks and how much I like Germany and why I took the pictures, what other projects I'm working on and of course something nice about the foreign authorities and the German social security but hey, why be petty, right?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Sick!

what the F? Suddenly around 7pm last night started feeling like shit and felt the throat swell up, hurt to swallow, head felt clogged and was home by 11:15pm and got an OK night sleep but knew when I woke up this morning that I needed to see a doctor. I get sick once or twice a year at most and often it is at the end of a trip or a semester of work when there is not a lot to do but this week I have oral exams at one of the schools I teach at (where Chick A is a student but not my student) and need to be fit and on top of my game so I called the doctor at 9am and had an appointment for 9.30. An hour later I had spent 55euros for everything including the "co-pay" and the antibiotics and hopefully I caught it in time that I will be good for Saturday when Chick A and I have another date planned. Of course I'll see her tomorrow at the photo exhibition in Muellheim I have but we've planned one of our "make dinner and drink champagne" dates which I have to tell you are a freakin' blast. I would invite you guys but I think I would prefer to have her all myself! hahaha

Mooney is hanging with Carolin again and I'm grateful because he felt like doing something today and I didn't. After dropping him off at a cafe where Carolin was, I picked up some of the Montenegro enlargements (disappointing) and then went by Chick A's to give her hair thingy back. We talked for awhile, watched some TV, ate some pizza and did a cuddle/snooze thing for a half hour which was really nice.

It's 5.41pm now, I'm going to read for a bit, keep drinking my fluids and got a class at 9.30am to teach and hopefully my IKEA shit finally comes.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

24-hour date

I had a 24-hour date this weekend, absolutely incredible. I picked up Chick A at 6:30pm with my buddy Mooney and then we went to Cafe Journal to pick up a friend, Carolin. We all had a drink (3 champagnes and a beer) and then went to Carolin's apartment in the heart of the town where she made us cuba libres and we looked at some of Mooney's Spain pictures. After drinking those, we went to Cheers where they were having an Oktoberfest special. Two of us ordered pork leg deep friend with potato salad and two of us ordered salads. Great atmosphere, great company, the beginning of a great date.

We all then went to Tacheles where we had another round and then tried some beer with chili or lemon or coke or orange in it, some special they had (which no man should drink but hey, the girls wanted to try it). After that Chick A and I made it back to my place where we hung out until about 4am which also included some real conversation between 2-4am.

Woke up around 10 and went to the supermarket to buy some tzatziki, bread rolls, pepercinis, and some lunch meat. I got a little spread together, brewed some coffee and got it all set up on the roof on what turned out to be one of the nicest breakfasts of my life. Perfect weather, great "together time" with someone I like hanging out with, and then we laid down and Chick A said it felt like vacation and she was so right.

We were in bed most of the afternoon and it was great, watching some Friends, have dozing, cuddling, conversing, eating ice cream, et cetera.

We walked into the city around 6:30pm where I dropped her off at home and then went and got Mooney and brought him to O'Kellys tonight. He's still there drinking but I was too exhausted and sort of not feeling too well (sore throat?) so hoping a good night's sleep and dreams of Chick A will soothe my soul...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

spain briefly

we have been having a great time, wasting large portions of the day and taking taxis home at 4am when our money is gone. We have done some siteseeing and mooney and i have a doubledate on saturday back in germany. that should be kick ass! that is all...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Vacation baby!

Today the world is smiling on me. I'm on vacation yet again, my 6th vacation of the year. I got a cute girl who smiles at me and kisses me from time to time. The weather is perfect. I finished up a class, a nice two-week intensive course with some pleasant people. I got a letter from the government saying I'm about to be given 1391euros for some work I did. That's approximately 2 months' living here in Freiburg. That's good news. It means I can afford to take Chick A out to dinner a few more times! hahaah

I got a little surprise for her today too. A student of mine who is a bartender at EuropaPark (something like Disneyland) about an hour from here gave me two FREE tickets to get into the park! I'm going to tell Chick A that we can go to EuropaPark together after her exams and see the student at the bar he works at and have a couple of expensive cocktails! That was so nice of him, I hope she's excited when I tell her!

Listening to 50cent being interviewed on Howard Stern. I haven't listened to Howard in 6 weeks and it's great to be listening again...

Mooney's coming into town today, much love bro!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

27 maybe?

I can't explain what that number is but it's good.

Had a great night with Chick A, we seem to understand each other much better and somehow found a nice middle ground so we could hang out and have a great time still. I'm extremely happy about it because she's an amazing woman, completely sexy and interesting and she's had a whole life before meeting me, as have I before meeting her and so we have stuff to talk about.

I went down to Walfisch and tipped them 5euros so I could bring my own champagne and orange juice so we could make mimosas at dinner and then when we in to eat Chick A was so impressed by it, I was super happy because it was a little gesture and I got the intended reaction. That's one the best feelings in life when you get the intended reaction.

Anyway, it was an important evening for me, I thought maybe things between us were over and I was unbelievably relieved to know that I could still have her attention sometimes...

Cheers to you, Chick A, see ya tomorrow!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Oh, the irony!

Chick B cancelled for dinner tomorrow for unspecified reasons.

Chick A is laughing at me right now.

I'm going out for a beer.

Amsterdam!!!!!!!

God, I am out of control, baby!

It's funny how inspiration can motivate one to do something...

You know that Assiyeah aren't together anymore (and if you don't, thanks for finding the blog stranger or my friend hasn't been keeping in touch with me!) and I already had bought plane tickets for her and Mooney's old girlfriend and now they are useless, right?

Well, maybe not. It would unfortunately cost about 70bucks to change the name and flight for each one but I thought maybe I would change them and go somewhere. I did a little search and some cheap flights came up for Amsterdam. I got excited thinking I'd only have to pay about 35 bucks to change the name and flight but no, for the flight AND for the change so I thought, damn!

And this is where inspiration comes in. I had that excited feeling that I was going somewhere and that is one of the most important experiences in my life. I couldn't feel a letdown after getting that feeling and so I thought about just buying the tickets but here's where it gets good.

I was talking to Maya on skype at the time and she whined cutely, "I wanna go to Amsterdam too!" and I said, "fuck it maya, just do it!"

She did some searching, so did I and we bought tickets to be in Amsterdam the first weekend of November!!!

I am going to spend Halloween in Amsterdam, I'm so fucking stoked.

I am flying on Wednesday, October 31st in the mid-afternoon and taking the train home Sunday, November 4 at 12:30pm. I'll be home and snug in my room by 7.30pm on Sunday evening, maybe even to go right to O'Kellys to watch some football! hahahah

Oh yeah, baby! My holiday total for 2007 just went up to 106 days!!! And how in the hell am I still employed??? wahoo!!!!

You should have heard the crazy sounds I was making here in my room! Amsterdam is one of my favorite places on earth, this will be my 6th time:
1)June 2001
2)February 2004
3)January 2005
4)March 2006
5)June 2006
6) NOVEMBER 2007

I have not visited any city in the world except San Diego, LA. New York is next with 5 times, as is London. God, I am happy.

p.s. On a sidenote, Chick A and I are just going to be friends now. I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with her and am looking forward to trying to develop a friendship with her.
p.s.s. I had a date with Chick B last night and it was a pretty good time except a whole date in German was exhausting!!! We'll see how that goes but I might need sleep more if I'm gonna do it in her language!
p.s.s.s. Oh yeah, and one of the nicer restaurants in town wants me to do an exhibition there in December with black and white photos!
p.s.s.s.s. I made the first arrangements to put on a music festival here in Freiburg, December 8th. It's called The Groovement Festival!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Sunday evening

Man, what a weekend. It had mostly all ups and some of those ups were through the roof. It's funny, it's 8.33pm right now and I'm ready for bed but of course it's too early for that. I could only stomach one small beer and wasn't in the mood for the pub even though it was the first week of the NFL season.

My room's a mess, I didn't get anything done this weekend that I wanted but that's okay. I had one of the best nights of my life last night and that's kind of all that really matters. It's so great when you can take the wide expanse of life and break it down to that. It keeps one sane because it's so easy sometimes to look at life and try and juggle all of its images and emotions and fears and desires through a moving prism and get blinded by the sparkling. If you can put the prism down, fix your position and take another look, you often get to see the soul of the beast and in this case, the soul of the beast last night was like the day you realize that Spring has finally arrived and you can warm your cold bones with someone who is already smiling before they even fix their gaze on you. It was that great last night.

It makes work tomorrow and my Rentenversicherung and Auslaenderbehoerde problems and all of the other crap in my life not seem so bad. I know, to many people my life doesn't have a lot of crap in it but you also know that every life has crap in it. It's true, mine is minimized but still, to put all of that into perspective for what it is, crap, and feel like today is perfect even with all the crap, that's how last night feels today...Oh sure, the crap is waiting for me but with any luck I can create new memories to marginalize the crap another day.

Yes, I'm happy

What a great date last night! Practically perfect, all things considered. Chick A just left 10 minutes ago and I can just think, thank you god for allowing this girl to come into my life. It's really fun hanging out with her, here's just a bit of what happened...

Chick A came over at 6pm with 2 bottles of champagne and 5 seasons of Sex and the City. She had said that getting her drunk would increase my chances of getting some action but the Sex and the City had me a bit worried.

We cooked a great dinner of couscous with ground beef, zuchini, carrots, peppers in a sweet, fruity spicy sauce. Drank mimosas and sat by candlelight for a few hours asking each other questions from "4,000 Questions for getting to know anyone and everyone", a great book for making conversation.

I suggested we adjourn to my room for a bit of cuddling after awhile, I'm slowly falling asleep around 12:30am or so and she says, are you getting tired and I said, you want to get another drink and she said yeah. So we went down to the punk bar and had a couple of beers and a jaegermeister, just having a great time and totally relaxed. I'm telling you, I could not have met a better girl at this point in my life. We're back in my room at 2:30 now and around 4am we watch a Sex and the City as I slowly fall asleep.

We woke up around 10:30, I went and got breakfast of sausage, bread rolls, tzatziki, orange juice and I wake her up for breakfast and then we lie in bed another hour sort of half asleep, half cuddling, cooing (from her) and then we eat some ice cream and watch 2 episodes of The Simple Life and then she just left now at 3pm.

I'm fucking exhausted but muy happy today! Spain is 5 days away!!!

p.s. Chick A, you know damn well how great last night was, mille grazie! Bis Mittwoch!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Chick B?

hey guys,

Having dinner with Chick A in about 90 minutes, still trying to recover from my hangover. Last night was fairly epic, starting at 5.30pm and ending around 2.30am. Spent 50euros somehow and had a blast!

It's tough, Chick A has a lot of stress right now because of her job competition and her exams that are coming up soon and for sure I'm a bit of a distraction for her. I only want to be a positive influence on her life (or rather, not a negative one) and we're trying to figure out how to hang out and have each person get what they want from the time we spend together. The thing is, I totally support her and wish nothing but the best for her. This job competition for a European Union agency is by far the most important thing for her and it is in 12 days. She wants me to be more of a friend to her right now than anything else and I'm trying but it's hard that she's so cute and sexy. Can you understand that? We're going to make dinner tonight, have some drinks and see what happens but it's not like I don't want to be friends with her if nothing sexual is going on but I am not ready to be "just" friends. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I'm not too worried about it. Either she's cool or she's not and there ain't much more I can do about it!

Is there a Chick B? Now I wrote about other girls listed by letter a couple of weeks ago but I'll have to scratch that list as I'm dealing with the present now. I met a cute law student at O'Kellys last Friday on Erik's going away party (remember, the dude going to Shanghai and the conversation with the girls I transcribed? If not, go down and read about Shanghai post). I gave her my number so that there would be no stress for her and she could call me if she wanted to, no big deal. Well, she wrote me a message at 11.30pm last night (I wonder if she'd been drinking!) to see what I was doing tonight. I wrote her back this morning that I have plans tonight but maybe tomorrow night we could do dinner.

Is that gonna happen? Probably. Is anything gonna happen with that chick? No idea but I still thought that it was a very promising sign that she contacted me. It would have been very easy for her to have erased my number and forgotten that we'd never met but she's at least interested in doing something with me. I hope I'm not so hungover when I see her.

I have a bunch of stuff to do this weekend but am not motivated to do any of it at all. I have to grade a test, find some appointments where I can teach at that company in Kirchzarten again (that one email was worth approximately 1400euros), do some laundry and do some packing for Spain and also try and find some more hospitalityclub/couchsurfing contacts for while we're down there. It could be a crazy week but hey, tonight could be crazy too!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Changes

Today was a pretty intense day. First, I've not been sleeping well lately, specifically the past two nights, probably because I drank too much caffeine, including espresso.

Anyway, I finally talked to my friend about Chick A. I called at 9am and it caught him off guard. It caught me off guard too, actually but it made work hard to concentrate and then in the afternoon I met Chick A in town and we walked to my place. We went to Walfisch for dinner and had all you can eat pancakes which was tasty and then back up here to chill out for awhile. I had a private lesson and I guess she slept during those 90 minutes. She didn't get her espresso after eating, apparently! hahah

So I talked to my friend for 10 minutes this evening. He said that she was her own person and she could do what she wanted and so I tried to concentrate on that point as much as possible. We've got plans to go out again on Saturday.

Two nights ago I went out with a buddy who earlier was a student of mine. We had some beers down in Walfisch and then we started talking to two chicks who were with 3 other people. They were cute but shy and our second beer at that table was drunk quite quickly when we learned they were 17 years old! I love you Germany! We got out of there shortly thereafter...

There's more to tell but it's not all appropriate here but I'm dying for the weekend, friends, and you?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Off Broadway

Hanging round broadway
And I think I thought I saw your face
I was speeding by you....

I was tired as fuck this morning, made some super serious strong coffee and drank a lot in class today. I then came home after 2, went for a jog and then cleaned up my room some more, for some reason it keeps getting messed up and there is more to do but I am just sort of floating here right now and it's okay, just happy to be alive and know that there is future adventure just waiting for me.

Something about me that is not like other people (I'm sure there are others like me but I RARELY, if ever have met them): I recognize the moment for what it is (thanks, alcohol) and often give people a part of my soul, giving them a chance to really have an idea who I am as a person, even giving them stuff of mine or buying them drinks. I do this knowing full well there's a good chance that I will never see or talk to the person again. I did it probably 25 times this past month in the States. I know I've told you about this but I often have no problem giving everything just to get a little in return. The reason for this is because I have so much to give. I have somehow often met people who needed more than they could give. 85% of the time I have no problem giving more than I receive. It's worth it to give someone something they want/need. Sometimes it's a compliment, sometimes it's a t-shirt or a photograph or oral sex...

It's the 15% when I don't get it back when I need it (and why would they give anything back when it was so clear that I was willing to do so much giving) that can be disappointing. It makes me briefly rethink my mentality and how I live life but they quickly subsides when I remember that I chose this, or I was aware that I was developing this way and as I told you, I'd rather be excited about something and then be disappointed later than to never get excited or disappointed about it. I'm one of the few people I know who can give a complete stranger a piece of his/her soul without even a second thought because it just feels so good to share and sometimes you find someone who suddenly appreciates the shit out of it and then you date them for 5 years until the 85% runs out I guess and then well...thank god I still have the 85% somehow. I don't know yet how it replenishes itself over and over again but it always seems to fill up pretty easily. It could come from travelling, it could come from photography or writing or creating beautiful things or seducing attractive women but to be honest, it's a culmination of all of those things probably and it's not even like I'm in charge of it. I'm only along for the ride too, trying to pick people up on my way past them to take them for a ride on this "thing" that I've created...

Monday, September 03, 2007

Montenegro

Somehow it's been 3 months since I was in Montenegro. I haven't had a place affect me like that in a long time. There was little to do but it was fascinating in a mundane way, seeing how the place worked and the various cultures that had been instilled over centuries of half-occupations. My motivation artistically has been altered in the past months. I've been super busy with work and then my relationship fell apart and since then I've had 7 rolls of photos from Montenegro that I have yet to get enlargements for. The past few years I usually got enlargements made within a month of returning from the trip but also I was working so hard on my photo exhibition and trying to prepare for the trip back home that I've neglecte them for awhile. I decided today I'm going to go through them and pick out about 10 photos to be enlarged so I can put some on the walls, seeing as that I have a lot more wall space now and it is my most recent trip.

I'll be in Spain in 11 days. It will be a much different trip than I originally had planned but that's okay, I'm sure Mooney won't mind if I'm taking lots of photographs around town during the day and then at night we'll whoop it up like it's our last night on earth but do that every night for 8 nights. We have the possibility of having a blast while we're there! In fact, I'm pretty sure we will. It's 6pm now, I just got done with a workout, it's still gray and rainy and it feels good to more or less have nothing else left to do today.

I'll get some of the Montenegro photos digitized in the next weeks and will hook you up but a lot of the good stuff is already on the blog if you go back to June 2007. Can you remember 3 months ago? It feels like a lifetime ago and you know what's stupid, what in a petty way makes me angry? I wish what's-her-face had broken up with me before I went to Montenegro, like a real woman would have, so I could enjoy myself in Montenegro in ways I envisioned. You should have seen some of the ladies there, they were either dressed to the nines or in bikinis and had a walk that mesmerized you. So there I was, surrounded by sexiness but was good and there is what's-her-face not missing me because she had some other dude to warm her ass. That's fucking lame but I sure as hell don't have that to worry about anymore!

Rainy Monday

It's cool and gray and rainy, perfect weather to be told by Chick A that being friends is best for now! hahah

It's all good, actually, it was already a little complicated for me, what with having to not necessarily lie to a friend that I was hanging with "his" girl but to not say anything about it, I just wasn't into deception as a part of my love life so soon after having been deceived in my last relationship the last couple of months but I most definitely wasn't thinking totally clearly because all I could think is she is fun to hang out with and she's sexy as hell, what more does one need from a "friend"?

She's got a big job opportunity coming up in a couple of weeks and that is by far the most important thing to her right now. The most important thing to me right now is, well, I don't know. I guess it's waiting for goddamn IKEA/Deutsche Post to deliver my new furniture so I can finish the transformation of the room into my hangout nest. It's on its way and I'm looking forward how it's all going to turn out and I'll be sure to keep you abreast (I would give two breasts if I could!).

She was concerned that I didn't want to be her friend if I couldn't see her naked as well. That's a laugh, right? How the fuck is one supposed to respond to that? Our entire relationship has had a layer of deception to it. I blame no one for that, we are both consenting adults and we both most definitely consented at some point! :) Seriously though, I've never met a girl like her, for better or worse, and I definitely want to see how her life turns out. She wants to be friends, I want to be friends but I also want(ed) something a little more but probably for my own selfish reasons. Our lunch today was a bit awkward but only because I felt like she had to know exactly how I felt about things so my friendship could be real. I didn't want to have any more deception. Remember, this deception I am referring to had nothing to do with her and me per se but rather with my friend and the person she is dating. I also think we have enough to talk about (though it won't impress her), what with us both not being "German" and having had plenty of experiences in our lives and blah blah blah. I just didn't want to act like it was no absolutely no problem (even though it isn't, part of me strangely enough isn't ready somehow for a sexual relationship; no, that's not quite it, it's just gonna be a little difficult to give some of the "Relationship" aspects in a more physical or a more friendly relationship but that's my own deal and has nothing to do with her). It isn't a problem but I just got out a relationship where not enough important shit was said so there was no way in hell I was going through that shit again. Anyway...

I had a new class today, a 2-week intensive class that is "conversation" more or less. There are 5 nationalities in the room, 6 if you include me but who wants to do that? German, Chinese, Iranian, Japanese and Krygystan, I love these classes because they end up being like the UN of language classes. And what I like is that they are motivated to talk. At times I have to do very little in order to "work", just give them something to talk about and provide an atmosphere where they can talk. That's the part of my job that I like.

I also found out that Studentenwerk is available to me for classes this semester which means another big chunk of my schedule into place, that's huge. It's not my favorite work and it's earlier than I'd like to work but it's in the middle of town and the people are easy and money isn't too bad so I just shut up and say thanks!

All right, I gotta do a workout now, pay some taxes and other crap that is uninteresting to you but important to me. Such is life, right? And Chick A, don't worry, I still wanna be your friend but I also look forward to getting you naked again! hahahah

Sunday, September 02, 2007

A part of the human race again

Chick A just left. She spent the night last night and we had a really good time. The funny thing is, we're "just" friends but of course there is more going on but it's not moving in the direction of a relationship, just two people who like hanging out with each other.

She came over at 6 last night and we went food shopping and we made a kick ass smoked salmon quiche (that apparently is still really damn good the next morning too!) with a side salad and we drank some white wine. After awhile spent hanging out, we went down to Walfisch and somehow proceeded to drink approximately 4-5 Jaegermeisters each and I had a beer and she had a whiskey/cola. Our bill was 15euros. That definitely sent us off in a new direction, it was after 1am and we stopped by Swamp for one more drink but they were already closing up. We berated the girl under our breath as we left and went back upstairs.

I need to get my new bed from IKEA. The single bed that I'm sleeping on now ain't enough space for 2 fully grown people. True, we're both short but still, we're "wide enough" that a single is too small. It was a relatively restless night but it was great hanging out this morning, trying to get to know each other better while still have the guise of friendship. We had some breakfast of smoked salmon quiche and fruit shake, talked about life and how much she hated being in Germany for the World Cup last year because everyone thought she was a fan of Italy even though she was waving a German flag and so it was a tough time for her.

We then went back to bed, enjoying the hell out of a lazy Sunday with absolutely gorgeous weather that neither of us was interested in. We watched a couple King of Queens and talked some more, trying to find middle ground on what we're both looking for out of our time together. There's a good chance we'll be able to make it work and I'm totally stoked to know her and it's great to have some cute and interesting to hang out with on a Saturday night. Me gusta muchisimo!

So now I'm trying to organize my room some more, put up some more postcards and tchotchky to give the room more of a "Jason" feel. I'm also ripping some of the new CDs I have into my computer so I can put them onto my Iriver.

I have a new class tomorrow, a 9-day intensive class for 2.5 hours each day, 9.30-12:00 but it will cover a month's expenses.

I also had an inspiration yesterday for a music festival I'm going to put on in December with 3 bands hopefully. The bands and the t-shirts will cost 1500euros. I'm hoping to sell enough tickets and t-shirts to make it more or less a break even proposition but I want to make something interesting happen. I want to be part of the Groovement...more on that soon!